Last weekend I helped to organize the semi-formal for our school. We had about 240 kids come and our Student Council did a great job pulling it all together. The lead organizer, in particular, a student in grade 11, is going to be the first person I call on when I need to plan another event. She was incredible! You would never know this, but we almost didn’t have a D.J. It’s a long story, but let’s just say, that with dinner about to start, we needed to do some intense problem solving to have an actual dance. I think I aged 10 years in 10 minutes. Deena, was so stressed. But here’s the thing–unless we shared that info, no one actually knew. Outwardly, everything was amazing. We chatted about how in life, there are going to be things that are in your control and some that aren’t and that the decisions you make to solve the problem are great lessons in resilience and in life. This lesson would come back to challenge me two days later.

It was the same weekend, I presented a paper at the Treasure Mountain Canada conference and that the TED Masterclass talks were due to ISTE. My private bucket list item has been to do a TED Talk. You can imagine my frustration, when my script was done, when I was ready with my slides, but I just could NOT get the tech to cooperate. I normally use Screencastify, but didn’t realize I couldn’t use it with Keynote. I also often use Quicktime, but again, couldn’t use it with Keynote (and my face in the bottom corner). I watched a well-done YouTube video and almost had the hack for using Quicktime down, when I realized that the hack, did not include Keynote and it would be even more complicated. I downloaded the presentation to powerpoint and then slides. All the animations I had spent so much time on, disappeared.

Exhausted from a full weekend, I just gave up. I shared my disappointment with my #53s voxer group, when my dear friend Tisha encouraged me to just do it. She reminded me that I do my best work at the last minute (I am a true procrastinator). And so with a new rush of adrenaline, I tried again and almost succeeded, when my husband thudded through the door and my dog barked the deepest and longest bark ever. I took that as a sign. I shut down my computer, kissed my family goodnight, and went to bed.

This whole week, I have been so angry with myself. If something is important to you, you make the time for it–isn’t that the saying?

Funny enough, my friend, you would not have known any of this. Only a select few know about my goal and even fewer people know about my very frustrating experience the night before TED talks were due. Why am I sharing? I’m not sure to be honest.

Maybe I just feel like it’s important to not always share the positives. Maybe I need to remind myself not to spread myself too thin. Maybe I need to put it in black and white as a promise to myself that just because I didn’t make it this time, it doesn’t mean I won’t try again.

I think that this profession is hard enough without being hard on ourselves. I am going to give myself a little grace.

Also, if you get the opportunity to engage in a TED Masterclass, you really should as it has been a great learning experience.

Peace,

Jen