Those of you who know me, know I Curl in a Friday night social league. I am not the best player in the world, but I am a decent player and I really enjoy the game, the people, and the fact that it makes my Canadian Winter seem to go faster.
This year, I was moved from the Lead position, to Second. Congratulations, everyone said. Way to go. All I could think was, “Oh no, I can’t do Take-outs!”
What is a Take-out? Well, it’s just what it sounds like. The Skip will point to a rock with his broom and ask for a faster rock to be thrown so the opponent’s rock is taken out of play. Easy enough? Nope. No matter how hard I try, I always seem to miss. Last season, I was very forthright with my skip–Use my other strengths and unless you want me to waste my turn, don’t call a Take-out. And she listened. She would sometimes say, “Tap this rock, but board weight.” My unconscious mind didn’t buy it. I missed that shot, because I knew that she really wanted a Take-out. I would get so frustrated that the rest of my game would suffer. She just stopped asking.
Now, I know all about Growth Mindset. I co-teach at several Growth Mindset lessons every year. I try to reinforce risk-taking with my own children. I take risks. My #OneWord2019 is LEAP for goodness sake.
But that darned Take-out.
This season, I have a new skip and he is accustomed to winning. He is also very experienced and has won the Night of Champions more than once. He does not take no for an answer. If he needs a Take-out, he calls a Take-out.
And I miss.
And I yell. At him. At myself.
And I tell him that there is something in my brain that just switches when he says Take-out.
And I hear myself and I can’t believe I am uttering these words. Out loud.
In just two games, I have noticed something: he has learned how to use my strengths. He commends me when I have used “Take-out Weight” and he keeps pushing. I am a little less embarrassed every time I miss, but I still haven’t managed to do one (except once by accident).
I can’t help but think of the parallel to the classroom. Some learners have a “Take-out” problem which manifests itself in a variety of ways.
Not trying is better than the alternative: trying and failing in front of your peers.
We need to recognize how much just one (perceived or real) weakness might be the reason for the stubbornness, the refusal to do work, the overtly negative behaviour, resentment, self-deprecating comments, a sense of resignation, a sense of failure. It occurs to me that this applies to student learners as well as educators who may have tried to use technology or an assessment practice.
Like my new Skip who notices and utilizes my strengths, we need to push and support in equal measures, to learn enough about our learners to allow their strengths to shine and we need to have patience and empathy with their internal struggle.