The Persuasive Essay that is 23 years late

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A couple of days ago, I received an email from a former student. He said, I’d like to think you remember me. And although, if you have been teaching for as long as I have, you know that it is sometimes hard to remember a student, I remembered Marco clearly. It was my very first year teaching. I had the qualifications for Teaching English and a Second Language (TESOL), but had absolutely no experience whatsoever. My ESL class consisted of a few students from Italy, one student from Iran (who contacted me a few years ago), and a few students from Mexico. I loved that class. Every day they astounded me with their growth and their language development. I have often wondered where the students ended up. In the case of Marco, he had dreamed of becoming a pilot. What I did not remember clearly was the point of his email to me:

As a young man, I didn’t always realize how fortunate I was to be surrounded by people that care.
I Owe you an essay.
I wrote it last Christmas, but I never got around to edit it.
I believe the essence of its meaning is all there.
Apparently, he did not hand in a persuasive essay. I gave him a zero. But, I told him he could hand in the essay whenever and I would accept it. And so, 23 years later, I received his essay in my inbox. I had never given his essay a second thought, truthfully. In the span of my career, I have given all my students the opportunity to hand in a paper whenever. But Marco apparently was plagued with guilt about “disappointing me”. His entire email was an extended metaphor about how he had, in life learned the lesson which he sums up this way:
I still remember her words, “you can still hand in the essay” even after a missed deadline. Words that after many years still resound in my head. She doesn’t know it, but she had taught me a very big lesson. Her last one actually, since I moved away to University the following semester. Her lesson – in life you will have to do many things you might not like, you still need to do them, they might not be perfect, but put your best effort forward.
The thought that he had fretted so much about a missed deadline (to the point where he had nightmares about it), or that he worried about disappointing me, made me so very sad, but I had to pull myself out of that. In Innovate Inside the Box, my friend George writes, “It’s okay, good even, to look back. Just make sure that you are practicing meaningful reflection, not self-loathing. I can’t change the decision I made long ago.
Marco went on to share his successes (he got a Bachelor’s degree, a Master’s degree, and did become a pilot for two years before choosing to pursue the family business). That essay, to him, represented failure; that thing that you don’t like to do, but you should do.
Your words Ms. Casa; when you said: “you can still hand it in”. Never a specific date, and at this point not even a specific topic. Simply a lesson in life that I keep dear to heart – always hand in your persuasive essay.
He added:

Jennifer, you have made an impact in my life; you remain that teacher that cared more than others. I have often asked myself how I could have betrayed that one teacher that had given me more, that had cared more, that had believed in me more…Thank you for all you have done for me. I have not become an English Major, but I have always handed in my “essays” as I have moved forward in life.

It’s crazy to think about the impact we make on kids every single day. Overwhelming sometimes. For many years now, zero has not been an option with me anymore, but I am grateful that I gave this student grace. Whether we like it or not, we are in every child’s personal constellation and perhaps that child in front of you right now doesn’t appreciate it at this moment, but they may some day.
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