My device. My terms. 3 strategies for finding balance.

1 Comment / #socialLEADia / By

Every summer, I notice talk of a social media fast. The other day, I noticed Derek Rhodenizer post what he has done to find balance.

My response to him is also my advice in Social LEADia, and my advice to myself: My device, my terms!

A fast is a great way to take control of your devices and for some people, that may be what it takes to restore balance, but for me, who sees social media as a part of life, and who like Derek sees the good that comes from using social media responsibly, a fast is not realistic, nor it is the best approach.

Consider the following expectations for the new revised Careers Curriculum in Ontario shared by my colleague Kevin DeFraites:

Social media is here to stay and is a part of the fabric of business, politics, and education. Instead of a fast, I suggest the following strategies:

Talk about it

I am fortunate to be able to teach all the grade 10 careers classes at my school. One of the first provocations I put up for a Four-corners discussion is, “Social media is designed to be addictive. You should quit social media or it will hurt your career.” As students move around the room, there is also a very obvious divide–students who perceive that they are “addicted” to their phones stand under the Strongly Agree sign, while many others stand on the Strongly Disagree sign. Then I let the students share their opinions. It is fascinating! I have learned two things from this Minds On activity: 1) it is definitely not a black and white issue and 2) when students share their strategies for self-regulation, it makes more of an impact than me lecturing about it.

As a family, you can also talk about it, using a Think Aloud or a Naive question: two strategies I use at school and at home. Here are a couple of examples:

“I am feeling the constant pull of checking my device during these long summer days. I am going to turn my notifications off.”

“I learned that Notifications are red to get your brain’s attention. Did you notice that? Wonder what impact it will have if we turn our notifications off. Let’s try it and compare the difference and how it makes us feel?”

“Gosh, YouTube’s Autoplay feature will keep me watching videos all day. I’m going to turn it off. Can you show me how?”

You can also cite the nature of apps and devices which attempt to buy your attention which is an important conversation. Talking about how you

Device Free times and zones

I instituted a Tech-free Tuesdays at my house a few years ago which was fine, until Wednesday when everyone felt like they had to catch up. It is way more realistic to have device free time zones and times set out. The American Paediatric Society no longer has set limits for kids ages 6 and up, recognizing that media is a part of life. You and your kids can create a plan for device free times and zones (although no devices in bedrooms should be a non-negotiable because of the abundant research on sleep). In our family, when we eat, devices are out of sight and I have explicitly talked about the importance of conversation and giving each other our full attention when we talk to each other.  We play cards after dinner sometimes and so that device free time is extended, when we walk the dog or hang out in the backyard to swim, or got out, or get in the car, devices are only used when we want to ask SIri a question, show each other an interesting news piece or video, or want to listen to music. When someone is visiting phones go away and visitors get our full attention. Attention is an important skill!

We sometimes make assumptions that kids (and adults) should know that it’s rude not to give your full attention; and yet, how will kids learn this if we don’t explicitly model and teach it. If you need some guidance, the APA has created a Family media plan which you can personalize.

Unfiltered vs Filtered

Social media can connect you to people you may never have had the possibility to meet in person. Some of my dearest friends are people I met on Twitter and speak to on Voxer. I have been thinking alot about how I portray myself online and whether or not I am modeling how to be myself online. What prompted my thinking about this was a student I interviewed for my Master’s project who, when I asked her about not having a profile description on her Twitter account responded, “I don’t know who I want to be online.” I will definitely need to do more thinking about this (blog post is swirling in my head), but in the meantime, I think we need to think about the extent to which we are being ourselves online and if we are purposely not being ourselves, unpacking why that is. I also think the more we can model authenticity, the more others will take their lead from us.

I posted a prompt on Instagram which led to two blogs about the topic. Tisha Richmond wrote a post called, Unfiltered: Are you seeing the real me  and Mandy Froelich blogged about Controlling the way Social Media makes us feel. Check it out here

 

Social media is not going away any time soon! My suggestion use your device on YOUR terms and help kids to do the same.

Scroll to Top