Have you ever been in a room with a group of people that are complaining or hostile? Then, almost like magic, a facilitator is able to turn things around so people leave the meeting or session on a positive note? A truly great leader is not only able to do that, but makes it look effortless.
Then I read about the concept of “The Flip” from the book Appreciative Leadership (2010), and realized that whether you are a CEO, a system leader, a school leader, or a parent, this leadership strategy holds great potential for positive change.
According to Whitney et al, when change is needed, people describe the need as a problem that needs to be solved; it has undesired consequences. Some people (myself included) who feel stuck in the midst of an unsatisfactory situation, over a period of time, complain about it as a means of dealing with the situation. “The Flip” is a way to turn critical comments, frustrating issues, and problems into affirmative questions and topics.
How? The book describes the following actions:
1. When presented with a complaint or a problem, listen carefully, Repeat what was said to be sure both that you understand it and that the other person feels heard.
2. Ask, “What is it that you really want? I understand that you are not happy with the way things are, but tell me what you would like to see instead?
3. Reflect what you heard–The Flip. Describe what the person really wants in a two-or three-word phrase–an affirmative topic.
The authors suggest that even a cynic, who just complains and complains probably has an ideal (something they have seen, heard, or imagined) to which they compare their current situation. If leaders acknowledge the situation as less than ideal and then ask for the description of the ideas, more positive results would ensue.
Here are a few examples of habitual problems and their possible affirmation topics:
Low test scores–>successful learning
Work group silos–>productive collaboration
Technology breakdowns–> technology that serves (from page 38)
They suggest that you try the exercise yourself using the table and the prompts below.
First, list two or three habitual problems: the issues, challenges, or frustrations that your organization or community talks about over and over again.
Second, ask yourself the question “What is it that we really want more of in our organization or community?” Record these reflections.
Third, ask yourself, “When we are at our best, what it is that makes us uniquely who we are?”
In doing this reflection, the authors suggest that “what you really want in your organization or community is to be more like who you are at your best!”
Thanks, Lori, Darlene, and Diane for modelling positive leadership–always, and to Peter Skillen for recommending this book!
Back to reading!
