Common Sense Media, a resource I use frequently for resources as a parent, learner, and leader, recently released, A Sexting Handbook which is designed to support teens to better understand the risks and facts about sexting. This is what the overview states:
- What others have done when faced with the decision to engage in sexting
- How the technology works and what the actual risks are
- What steps you can take to gain back some control over a situation that feels out of control
- Whether your fears of getting into trouble are realistic
- The impact on your future and what you can do about it
- How to get support and advice from organizations that are there to help with just this sort of issue
I was interested to read how many kids are actually sexting. The handbook states: “A recent study out of the University of New Hampshire [2012] found that less than 16 perfect of teens have created, appeared in, or received a sext” (page 7). Don’t most adults think that teens are constantly sexting when they are on their phones??
The resource itself combines common sense, facts, cautionary notes, and some guided questions. When I first read through it, I immediately thought it would be useful to promote conversations in classes or in families about being safe in our connected and digital world.
But, when I showed it to my daughter, she said there was no way she or any of her friends would read it. My thirteen year old did read it but said she was absolutely not sharing it with her friends. My fifteen year old (after I begged) did show it to a couple of her good friends.
Consensus: NO TEEN WOULD READ THIS UNLESS SOMEONE MADE THEM!
Some of their comments:
“Who talks like that? Nudies??”
“As if we don’t know this stuff”
“NO”
Their reactions made me wonder whether or not they have (or need) a teen voice on their writing panel.
And yet, this is a very important topic! in a recent panel discussion hosted by the Bully Free Community Alliance of York Region, Sargeant Phil Moreau from the York Regional Police, when asked about the most prevalent criminal cases regarding teen use of technology, stated that it was “the sharing of inappropriate pictures”.
At home
I am really struggling here. Sharing it with my kids with the guise of, “why not show it to your friends and give me feedback” was pretty underhanded on my part. And I can only get away with it because of my role at the District level. I wonder if my kids did feel pressure to sext, that they would have looked at the handbook a little differently (a big mom sigh of relief). When they were just hitting puberty, I remember giving my kids the American Girl book, The Care and Keeping of You and not forcing the issue. Might this be the best approach for this topic and resource as well?
In school
Based on the feedback my daughter and her friends gave me, I might use this in an English class and have students look at the handbook with a critical lens. What is the purpose of the text? Who is the perceived audience? Does the handbook succeed in its purpose for its audience? What would you change so its voice is more authentic? The content is important, how else might this message reach teens? I can see lots of potential for follow up inquiry and the creation of other artefacts (podcasts, PSA’s, posters, etc…). I also think it might be worthwhile to have the students contact
Being in the know
The adage, knowledge is power pertains here. Knowing the handbook exists and reading about some of the guidelines and facts will better equip me to have natural but informed conversations with my teens if and when the need arises.
Download the handbook here:
Would love to hear your feedback and thoughts!